Fueled by something that had only grown larger by the day.
Three stamps from going postal.
A few years ago I was not only unhappy, I was angry.
Fire ran through every vein.
Toxic thoughts and something so painful I could hardly hold on.
My whole world- something burning, something molten, mind run by an indescribable demon that I had let myself fall victim to.
I gave in, gave up, gave way too much.
I failed to see the sprouts of life growing from in between the cracks of concrete- the perfect geometry of a succulent- the survival instincts written deep in the bones of the animals around me.
I was so lost, so deep in my pain, that I walked through life with my eyes closed.
What I could see was black and white, and what I didn't know, didn't exist.
It was one day on vacation, driving with a friend, that I said... this is it.
Things are going to change.
Things have to change.
Today I am a success story.
A girl looking through the 8 eyes of a spider at every tiny, beautiful thing.
Today, the world around me is more giving, more glorious, far more vibrant than I could ever even begin to believe.
As another friend of mine preaches to me daily, "Success is deliberate."
If you truly want something you wont make excuses.
You'll fall and you will rise.
You'll look to the sky instead of down at your feet.
You'll hold on with both hands and your heart.
And you'll keep swimming.
You will swim no matter how deep you sink.
Because you want it.
You honestly and wholeheartedly want it.
That day I instilled in myself the power of positive thinking.
Rejecting the negative.
Refusing the ugly.
Relinquishing the past.
Never looking back.
And today, I am here.
Today, every color within me shines.
I am happy.
Genuinely, perfectly, undeniably, happy.
Thank you to everyone who has ever supported me.
Thank you for reading my words.
Thank you for understanding that I too, am human.
Thank you for letting me be honest.
Thank you for letting me leave my past behind.
You are appreciated far beyond words.