against the grain.

Sometimes in my mind, I admit, I live in a different world. Away from reality. Somewhere serene. Somewhere where the beauty of the day outweighs everything else in it's path. Somewhere I wake up, in the middle of a sun kissed forest, a house of all windows, slippers and coffee. Soft and quiet forest, walking tiptoe past the world, somewhere deep in my thoughts, where my heart roams. Away from the desert. A garden outside. Green as far as my eye can wander, and trees holding it all in, in their arms. A place where work stops. Where my job is my passion and my passion is my job. A place where nothing can go wrong. Sweet insects enjoying bounty of what I've grown, fawn, and aves of all kinds and color. Moss collecting and multiplying along stone and trunk. And the sounds of my hammers laying inspiration out amongst everything they kiss. A torch hissing, clink and clank, swift sounds of my saw blade in meditative movements. 
I take myself away. To this place in my mind. A place that makes me feel true to myself, to my roots, to my being. A place I hold out for, knowing the beat of its breath is true, and that one day I may just find it. A view of snow capped mountains across a field of golden wheat. The beauty of what the earth provides is so unimaginable it makes my heart burst. A daily offering of a quite, simple, humble universe.
Do you ever escape there? I'm there too often these days. Especially around the holidays.

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I watched safety not guaranteed last night. I wanted to cry at the end. There was something so complex in the emotion, the relationship, the idea that I didn't know how to react. I think that's what has me in this mood today. It was like when I saw Into the wild. My heart was a throbbing mess.