against the grain.

I'm living that kind of life right now that feels like you're on a carousel. Living inside of a blur. It's not so much the coming around again and again, it's the going by things at a speed that leaves a trace of memory that's too foggy, too stretched to remember. It's funny how when things speed up they almost appear motionless. You'd never know if the background weren't changing with each beat... if the wind didn't continue to swirl, if your face didn't continue to grow with the days.
Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I catch a quick glimpse of the world ever living and evolving without my inclusion... Each day fading in and out, with every sunrise and sunset, and that beautiful glow of gold the sun casts across everything in it's path. So many days of hard work and busy have passed that it makes me realize how I take the quiet moments of this life for granted... how it feels to relax and how many hours I feel like I have wasted in all the wrong sorts of ways.
What a heavy amount of maintenance life takes.
Family. Friendships. Relationships. Work. Pets. Dreams. Self... and so many tiny elements inside of each. SELF: brush hair, brush teeth, clean self, rest self, exercise, dress, cut hair, cut nails, feed, shelter, clean shelter, clean clothes, etc...and keep brain sane? It's almost impossible to realize how much work we put into things with how amazingly our minds and our bodies cope from day to day... How automatic we become with age. It's a wonder we don't lose our minds sooner than we do. I feel like I could lose mine tomorrow.
So, laugh at something today.
My medicine, while stuck at work: this incredibly weird thing Indy was doing as I tried to take a picture of him the other day. Power stance? Angry he didn't get a cookie after staring at me for 5 minutes obviously asking for one? Disgust of some sort? ...maybe he just saw something insanely intriguing about the ceiling... maybe he's lost his noodles. Beats me.
Crazy, wild beast of a baby, beefy dog.